Our family just welcomed a new baby
into our lives, and as we shared pictures with our family and friends through
email and Facebook, I felt a need to share the whole story. The pictures of our
first granddaughter are beautiful, but the story behind that “new life” tells
an amazing story. This story is not to give any attention to ourselves or our
new bundle of joy, but to those who our society has rationalized almost to
extinction in our world.
I am pro-life and it is hard for me
to understand how anyone could have an abortion. I understand it happens due to
misinformed young and old immature people in today’s self-centered world who
will not listen or learn the facts of “real truth” – this is a baby and the
heartbeat of new human life can be
heard after 6 weeks of development. Society tells us that unplanned pregnancy
will ruin our lives if we keep the “fetus” and the best thing for unplanned
pregnancies is to have an abortion. This is so far from the truth. Many options
are available to the mother. Take for example adoption. There are many, many, many
couples needing a baby that cannot have one on their own. As much as pro-choice
folks preach” it is not a baby at conception”, medical science says it is and
the reality of abortion is MURDER. This statement is a fact, but not the story
I want to share. Rather, I want to share a journey that showed me how bad our
society has truly come and how selfish we are. Through our selfishness we are
missing out on understanding what true love really is.
Our daughter-in-law gave birth
November 24, 2012, exactly one year after having a miscarriage at 6 weeks. When
news of her second pregnancy was shared with us, it was shared with the hopes
that she would not miscarry again. We were all informed to wait until we spread
their news about the pregnancy,” just in case”…… At her 6-weeks check-up they
heard a heartbeat and we were all so excited!
Our 30-something year old daughter-
in-law had a sonogram of the baby at 4 months and learned we were having a baby
girl. Because of her age they did a very thorough sonogram. The sonogram showed
all her skeletal features seemed normal. BUT, the baby had a “bright spot” on
her heart. The doctors informed her that all Down Syndrome (DS) babies have a
“bright spot” on their hearts and recommended she have further testing to see
if the baby had DS. The test is called amniocentesis and carries a risk of
miscarriage. The risk
ranges from 1 in 200 to 1 in 400. In facilities where amniocentesis is
performed regularly, the rates are closer to 1 in 400. Miscarriages can occur
because of infection in the uterus, the water breaks or labor is induced
prematurely. Because of this factor the new expectant
parents decided to not have this test for fear of a miscarriage. If she was DS,
it would not matter. She was a life created by God and they would trust the
Creator’s plan for them and their child.
Our daughter-in-law’s Midwife advised
her to not worry, that her baby was fine and many healthy babies have a “bright
spot” on their hearts. During her months of pregnancy I would always tell the
new parents that the “bright spot” was a special “mark” from above. God had
already marked her with a special calling on her life. To be honest with my
story, it was hard at times to trust God and even though we would be prepared
for “whatever” our Lord had in store for us, we worried and continually
reassured each other “God is in control.
No matter what happens His Grace will carry us through.” It is easy to
say, BUT putting it in “motion” is another story.
Four month… Five months… Six months…
Seven months… Eight months and what a perfect pregnancy. Our daughter-in-law
was beautiful pregnant and was textbook all the way. We visited them during her
eighth month and seeing how well she was doing confirmed to us “we are having a
baby” in a few weeks. Praise God! The wait was almost over. The excitement of
these new parents was contagious and seeing all the labor of love they put into
the nursery and the childproofing the house showed they were ready. With all this
said, the “bright spot” still bubbled up fear from time to time. Trust God! It
is so easy to say.
The end of the ninth month (the week
she is due) we as grandparents started our 2 day drive in hopes we would arrive
for the birth. It all worked out and we arrived at the hospital just in time.
After a wonderful labor and delivery (no complication) our daughter-in-law,
with the help of our son, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was perfect
and started nursing (she was hungry) within a few minutes. A quick check of her lungs, heart, etc.
revealed a healthy new life. We witnessed this beautiful baby (our
granddaughter) who entered the world around 9:30 pm.
The next day we arrived early at the
hospital to take a peek before church and witnessed two parents beaming from
head to toe. We even discussed how all the worrying we did the last nine months
was over and how textbook her pregnancy was, but also how the medical world
puts so much fear in the “could happen” scenarios.
We (new grandparents) left the
hospital and headed to Mass to give thanks to the Creator. Scripture readings
at morning Mass were preparing us for the end of the Liturgical year, a “New
Liturgical Year” was beginning the following Sunday. Advent was around the
corner and as our year ended with the good news of Christ second coming, the
start of the new liturgical year was a new beginning of the anticipation of His
first coming. In so many ways this ending was so appropriate for a 9-months
wait. There was new life in our midst; our granddaughter. I gave thanks to my
Jesus and told Him I look forward to His birth in a few weeks (the first coming
of the Messiah) and thanked Him for the life in which the Holy Trinity had
created for our family to LOVE and CHERISH.
We returned to the hospital after
Mass to see the baby and the new first time glowing parents we had left
earlier, only to learn when we returned, the new parent’s world in such a short
time, had been turned upside down. While at Mass, a Pediatrician entered their
hospital room, and knowing about the sonogram and the “bright spot”, examined our
little granddaughter. She informed the new parents that she suspects that this
baby is Down Syndrome and most likely has a serious heart problem that is
common in a DS baby. This doctor had left her art work on a white board
indicating the problems she suspects with the baby’s heart. Our daughter-in-law
is an RN and is a heart transplant nurse coordinator. She truly understands the
heart problems of the DS babies and I am sure she had struggled with this
knowledge since her sonogram. Our son was crying uncontrollably and really did
not know how to process this information. We all had a hard time with it. We
just could not see what this doctor was telling us. Was our love blind? We
decided to leave them alone, so they could work through this as a family. The
new parents did not need interference as they cried and sorted through this
news together. When leaving our son said “I will be so mad if this is a CYA
(cover your ass) because of her age and etc. To put us through these doubts and
worries during her pregnancy was hard and now if it is a CYA, it’s not fair. I
can accept it if she is Down Syndrome, but a heart problem…. the thought of
losing her.. I cannot handle.”
We left the hospital emotionally drained
and the “joy” of being first time grandparents was now shadowed with fears of an
uncertain future. Immediately I started goggling information about Down Syndrome
babies and this is what my story is really about; the message I want to relay
to anyone who reads this writing from my heart.
As much as I googled and read, I still did not see what this doctor saw….
Our baby did not have the precious (small) features that DS children have. We
even laughed at the first glance, when we saw how big our grandchild’s feet and
hands were, thinking to ourselves she might make a good basketball player one
of these days, when she grew into those hands and feet. I read about the heart troubles DS babies
have and I cried. I also read that 90-95% of Down Syndrome babies are aborted
today and I cried. How selfish has our society become? Only 5-10 % have a chance at life, because
they are being murdered in the womb. I thought of the eagles and the whales and
how animal activist fight so hard to save them from becoming extinct. These are
animals…… and we are talking about special human beings shrinking in numbers
because society does not understand what love truly means. I read stories of
families who have chosen life for these precious children and how they are the
APPLE of their EYES. They bring so much joy to their lives. My search brought
me to the conclusion that if she is Down Syndrome, what a special package from
above we had received. How blessed I felt that God the Father would put so much
trust in this family to raise one of these precious children. How honored I
felt that He would trust us with a life that so many do away with. I came to
accept this wonderful gift and felt honored, if it was true. I still had a hard time with the heart issue and
prayed that He would give us the graces we needed each day to walk through
this, if we had to. We shared this
with nobody until we got all the facts. I was tempted many times to call our
Priest and our daughter, who is a Novice in the religious life, for prayer; to ask
him, her and the Sisters to pray. We needed to wait until we understood all the
facts, and we waited.
The first test was on her heart and
the results came back that it is perfect! Praise our Lord! Another Pediatrician
delivered the news about the heart the following day and also was not convinced
in what the other doctor saw. Her advice was to do genetic testing ”just to make sure.” When they gave the long
awaited permission, they could finally take their beautiful baby home. Praise
the Lord!
What a joy it was to finally take her
home! The next day she had an appointment for her first baby wellness check-up
with the Pediatrician who had not met her yet. She examined the baby and was
amazed at how perfect she was, how beautiful she was etc., etc., etc. Finally,
her parents asked the doctor if she had read all the notes from the hospital.
“No” was her reply. They asked her to please look them over. She retrieved the
paper work and began reading. After a few double takes, she was shocked at what
this one doctor had put them through. She could not see what this doctor saw,
and did not understand. Her words: “Well I am 99.9 % sure the test will come
back negative….. so sorry this happened to you!”
The genetic testing came back
yesterday and it is negative. I guess my son’s fears were right; “CYA” a doctor’s
way of handling things in a most unprofessional way. We as a society think we have
come a long way in medicine. Have we really? Through this journey, as hard as
it was, I am thankful for the things I’ve learned. I have always been pro-life
and even volunteered my time to help educate a world that does not know the
facts. The Lord open my eyes to a reality that I knew about, only never knew
how bad it was. I will continue to be an advocate for the unborn babies….. Now
my heart cries for the Down Syndrome babies. Folks please learn the facts. I pray that the Lord will open the door and
show me and others how to make a difference for these precious families and
their children. It is sad that medicine, the medical profession, that is supposed
to be a vessel that God uses to heal mankind, is now a part of our society that
kills, if it in any way seems to be an inconvenience to our existence and our
pleasures. My husband calls it “child sacrifice on the altar of convenience”. I
wonder if the doctor’s “Hippocratic
Oath” has changed. Does it now say “heal” and “kill”? Just
wondering?
In Closing:
Jeremiah 1:5
"Before
I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I
appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
You
remember the “bright spot” on our granddaughter’s heart? I was right. It was a special
touch from above….. see how God used that spot to bring awareness to her
grandmother for the precious little ones that are so loved by HIM! She does
have a calling on her life.
